4 Ways To Cope With Feelings Of Failure Or Underachievement

No one likes to feel like they’ve failed. Putting time and effort into something only to fall short of success can be crushing. Even if you don’t completely fail at something, underachieving or just missing the mark can feel just as damaging. 

Unfortunately, when you carry those feelings with you more often than not, it can start to take a toll on your mental health. 

Feelings of failure can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. So, what can you do to cope? How can you deal with those feelings of underachievement and keep moving forward? Let’s cover a few healthy and effective strategies.

1. Feel Your Feelings

It’s easy to want to push down your feelings of failure as quickly as possible. After all, they don’t feel good. You might think that by ignoring them or brushing them aside, you’re ready to move on, but that’s rarely the case.

Emotions will always demand to be felt. If you don’t acknowledge and process them — even the negative ones — they’re likely to linger. You won’t forget about your failures if you don’t process the feelings that come with them. 

So, acknowledge that you’re sad, frustrated, or even angry when underachievement strikes. Doing so will allow you to look forward.

2. Fight Back Against Negative Thoughts

Negative self-talk can be damaging, and it’s often unrealistic or exaggerated. Failing at something can cause you to become your biggest critic. But if your negative thoughts are causing you to believe things about yourself that aren’t true, it’s important to fight back.

For example, if your feelings of failure are causing you to believe that you’ll never be good at anything, or you’ll never reach your goals, understand that those thoughts are irrational. Consider adopting a positive mantra or practicing mindfulness to stay grounded as those thoughts start to attack.

3. Remember, Failure Leads to Growth

Some of the most successful, well-known people in the world experienced colossal failures throughout their lives. Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs all crashed and burned with multiple ideas. 

If they hadn’t kept going, our world would be very different. Recognize that you’re in good company if you’re dealing with feelings of failure. Like these greats (and so many more), use your failures as opportunities for growth rather than situations that will hold you back.

4. Practice Self-Care

It’s essential to be kind and compassionate with yourself, even when you’re dealing with feelings of failure. If a friend approached you who was struggling with those same feelings, how would you treat them? 

Chances are, you would build them up and do whatever it took to make them feel better. Why not do the same for yourself?

Self-care should be a daily practice in your life. Find small ways to prioritize and promote your well-being. That might include regular exercise, journaling, spending time with friends, or even meditating. 

Self-care can also include working with a mental health professional if your feelings of failure are starting to become overwhelming. Therapy can help you better understand the root of those feelings. It will provide you with healthy coping strategies that can make moving forward easier. 

The reality is that everyone fails. No one is perfect, and failures can lead to a lot of growth. But, if you’re having trouble overcoming the negative and overwhelming feelings that can sometimes occur with underachievement, you don’t have to tackle them alone.

Put these coping mechanisms into practice, and don’t hesitate to contact me for more information or to set up an appointment soon for young adult therapy. By taking care of yourself and looking ahead, you’ll recognize that your failure will never define you.