How To Tell If Your Teen Is Depressed
That kid who used to scream-laugh running through the backyard chasing after soccer balls suddenly spends lots of time in their room. They used to share stories at dinner, but now they quietly sit through it. You bring up events from the past couple of months and find they struggle to recall details.
Drops in mood, energy levels, and cognitive processing can be signs your teen is struggling with depression. Teens undergo a lot of change in a relatively short time. Dealing with new social dynamics, academic pressures, and hormonal changes can invite a host of reactions in teens.
Here’s how to tell if your teen is depressed.
Emotional Signs
Some emotional signs that your teen may be dealing with depression include:
Random outbursts of crying and/or anger
Feelings of hopelessness
An irritated/annoyed attitude
Loss of interest in previously beloved activities
Social isolation from friends and family
Self-deprecating comments; low self-esteem
Rehashing old mistakes; heavy self-blame
Difficulty with cognitive processing and memory
Mentions of death or suicide
Behavioral Signs
Look out for these behavioral signs that your teen may be depressed:
Sleeping a lot while still feeling tired
Irregular sleeping schedule or insomnia
Cravings for high-serotonin foods like carbs and sugars
Sudden interest in drugs and alcohol
Restless habits like skin-picking, hand-wringing, and pacing
Slower speaking pace and movements
Unexplained ailments like headaches and muscle pain
Neglecting personal hygiene
How to Insert Yourself as a Parent
As your child grows, they become increasingly independent. Unfortunately, this can lead the teen and the parent to believe the teen no longer needs guidance.
As a parent, falling into the supporting role when you owned the lead role for years can be difficult, especially when you can see the pain on your child’s face. However, getting too involved can make them feel untrusted and threaten their self-esteem. It’s a delicate balance.
Get Curious About Their Sadness
Instead of taking control of their ship, you should become compassionately curious about their voyage. Ask about things you’ve noticed, and focus on validating emotions more than correcting their behavior. “I noticed you’ve been saying mean things about your appearance lately. Are you upset about the way you look?”
Go in with the goal to listen, not fix. Teens need to be empowered to make their own decisions, and getting through problems independently (with the love and support of their friends and family) can improve self-esteem.
Extend Invitations Over Suggestions
You’re more than allowed to give suggestions, but try to present them as opportunities, not directives. For example, if your teen has been spending lots of time in their room, invite them for a bike ride with you instead of saying, “You should get outside.”
Highlight The Positives
People struggling with depression cycle through negative thoughts about themself and life. Pointing out what they do wrong adds to this already oppressive internal voice. Instead, remind them you see the positives in them even if they don’t.
Maybe they made it to school on time every day this week or have kept their car filled with gas without asking for money. Even if you think these are things they “should” be doing, depression impacts motivation, and it’s likely that anything could fall through the cracks. Give them credit for getting by.
Getting Help
Your teen’s pediatrician or primary care physician (PCP) is a great place to seek help. Even if the signs don’t seem severe, you never know when depression can take a turn. It’s important to review all symptoms with their doctor and see if a treatment plan makes sense. Some PCP offices have integrated mental health providers on staff to screen for possible concerns like anxiety or depression. If you have concerns, be sure to ask for a behavioral health consultation before or during your teen’s next visit.
Some teens benefit from medication; others benefit from talk-based therapy. Research shows the best results come from a combination of the two. If your teen is struggling with feelings of sadness, anger, hopelessness, and/or worthlessness, ask them about their interest in teen counseling. Reach out today if you have questions or would like to set up a complimentary consultation.
