Help Your Child Succeed With Diabetes

Life often feels more stressful and chaotic after diabetes enters the picture. The constant mental math, clinic visits, carb counting, finger pricks, and worrying about highs and lows can take a toll on your child, you as the parent, and the family.

As a parent, you likely feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted from daily diabetes care.  Your child may not accept your helpful reminders and your attempts to support your child may be unsuccessful.

Below are strategies to improve your child’s success and motivation to engage in diabetes care.

Make It Fun & Rewarding

Managing diabetes often feels like an unpaid full-time job for both parents and children. To improve your child’s motivation, make diabetes management fun and rewarding by introducing prizes and privileges (aka “paycheck system”) they can earn for following instructions and taking care of themselves.

Remember that rewards don’t have to cost money and can be things they usually get for free like special treats, allowance, or trips to the park. Also, be sure to praise them for their hard work. For example, “Thanks for taking your insulin,” “I’m proud of you for taking good care of yourself,” and “I appreciate you checking your blood sugar.”

Language Matters

Words are important and have associated connotations. It’s common for parents and professionals to use words like “sneak” when children have a snack without informing an adult. Although the word “sneak” may seem harmless, it suggests someone is intentionally being deceptive. Instead of saying “you’ve been sneaking snacks,” describe the behavior (e.g., “you chose to have a snack without telling someone”). Also, instead of describing blood glucose as “good” or “bad,” describe it as within or out of target range.

Empathize

Although we can imagine how difficult it is to have diabetes, it’s hard to fully fathom without walking in a diabetic person’s shoes. Kids with diabetes have responsibilities like taking insulin, checking their blood sugars, eating on a schedule, telling an adult when they have a snack, explaining to friends why they missed school for a doctor’s visit, answering diabetes-related questions, etc.

Children with diabetes often experience feelings of guilt and shame when they’re reprimanded for having an out-of-range blood glucose level or not following their doctor’s order. During especially hard days, remember that living with diabetes is extremely tough for your kid too. To get a fresh perspective from your child’s shoes, consider living with diabetes for a day (or even half day!) by giving yourself finger pricks, counting carbs, etc.

Give Diabetes Vacations

Use a developmentally-appropriate and flexible scaffolding approach to set clear expectations for your child. Regularly check in with your child about what’s going well and what’s been tough. Ask if they feel overwhelmed by any aspect of their diabetes care and if they’d like you to take over any of the responsibilities for a while.  Even teens and adults benefit from “diabetes vacations” where a parent, partner, or other trusted adult takes over major diabetes management tasks so they can have a break.

Be Flexible

Older children and teens may desire more autonomy. If your child seems to be managing diabetes well, ask if they’d like to try taking on more diabetes self-management responsibilities (with your supervision to start off). Figure out a transition plan that allows them more autonomy while you supervise to make sure they can handle their new duties. If your child feels daily check-ins are excessive, consider scheduling a family meeting a couple of days each week. If your child views the verbal reminders or follow-up as nagging, they may respond better to written reminders on post-it notes or a whiteboard.

If you and your family are struggling with diabetes, reach out for support. Chronic illness counseling can help both children and parents cope with the stress associated with diabetes care.