6 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism
We all have a picture in our heads of how things are supposed to go. Sometimes, that image becomes a reality, and we are pleased with the outcome. Other times, things don’t live up to our expectations. Most people take this in stride. Using it as a lesson learned, the failed expectation is accepted, and life moves on.
However, some people feel failure deeply.
Some people struggle to pause or turn down the volume of their negative thoughts. How could this happen? Where did I go wrong? I can’t believe I messed up that much. I’m such a failure.
What Is Perfectionism?
Those who feel like this are often called perfectionists. More than high-achievers, perfectionists are motivated out of fear of making mistakes or failing. For a perfectionist, there is an unrealistic expectation of how things are supposed to go. It’s literally the idea that everything needs to be perfect. When this expectation isn’t met, it causes much anxiety and turmoil to boil underneath the surface. Perfectionism is not a disorder in itself; it’s more of a personality trait. Because of this, many believe there’s not much you can do about it. However, that isn’t the case at all. Here are 6 practical tips for overcoming perfectionist anxiety.
1. Focus On The Positive
Instead of thinking about what went wrong, think about what went right. As a perfectionist, you are more prone to think about everything negatively, never seeing things in a more positive light. When you shift your mindset, you can help ease your worries and applaud yourself for accomplishing something.
2. Let Yourself Make Mistakes
This is easier said than done, for sure. But as humans, we are going to mess up. No matter who you are, it’s going to happen. Things aren’t going to be perfect. We’ll have regrets and wish we had done things differently. Part of the process of overcoming perfectionism is slowly accepting that mistakes will happen. However, this does not indicate that you didn’t try your best.
3. Understand You Are Just Doing Your Best
As a perfectionist, you are likely a high achiever, too, always looking to level up and compete with yourself. At the end of the day, we are all just doing our best. If something doesn’t go perfectly, don’t dwell on everything that went wrong. Applaud yourself for doing the best you could. Know and believe that you tried your hardest; that is all that matters.
4. Don’t Take Criticism As Always Being Bad
Perfectionists tend to take any feedback that isn’t fantastic as a personal attack. The word criticism is in itself harsh. Think of it as a critique and a way to improve something in the future.
5. Avoid Procrastination
It seems counterintuitive, but perfectionists are prone to procrastination. Why? Mostly because they put things off until they feel like it will go perfectly. I’ll feel more prepared to give my best if I do this later. But this thinking worsens the anxiety someone feels because it is often put off until the last minute, causing massive anxiety spikes.
6. Don’t Put Unnecessary Pressure On Yourself
We’re our own worst enemies. We feel pressure to always get everything we want out of a scenario. We put so much pressure on ourselves to succeed; to never make a mistake. This creates an unwarranted idea that it needs to be perfect. Life will never be truly perfect. Give yourself the grace and kindness you want others to feel. You’re doing your best.
If you struggle with perfectionism, don’t hesitate to contact me for anxiety therapy. I can help you find ways to embrace mistakes and work towards a life free from anxiety.
