Understanding ADHD Part 3: What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria & How You Can Manage It In Your Relationships

Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and ADHD are often linked, and most experts contribute it to the differences in brain structure of those who deal with ADHD. While not everyone with ADHD will end up having RSD, it’s a common problem and RSD can actually make the symptoms of ADHD worse. 

With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at what rejection-sensitive dysphoria really is. You can have it whether you’re dealing with ADHD or not. But, a combination of the two conditions can take a toll on your quality of life — including your relationships. 

A better understanding of what RSD is will make it easier to combat some of the common symptoms and manage them in your relationships now and moving forward. 

What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? 

No one likes to feel criticized or rejected. But, when you’re dealing with RSD, the emotional pain from rejection is extreme. RSD often comes with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and the desire to be a people-pleaser. 

Unfortunately, RSD can also make it difficult to regulate and control your emotions. When you have ADHD, that becomes even harder. The combination of the two often leads to emotional outbursts. You might have a hard time keeping your emotions in check so it can appear to others that you’re “all over the place” when you’re dealing with the effects of rejection. 

The biggest problem with RSD is that the rejection you feel might not always be based in reality. It might end up being your neutral state — assuming that everyone is criticizing you. 

People with RSD tend to obsess over rejection, and have difficulty soothing themselves or calming down after they’ve perceived any kind of rejection or criticism. 

What Causes RSD? 

People with RSD have a different brain structure than those without. That’s why it’s commonly connected with ADHD, making it harder to regulate emotions. ADHD can make your mind hypervigilant when it comes to experiencing rejection, so you become more sensitive to criticism and your emotional responses become more extreme. 

However, that isn’t the only potential cause. 

Some individuals can develop RSD from negative childhood experiences, such as neglect or harsh criticism. It’s essential for children to learn and experience healthy emotional development. When they aren’t able to do that, it can lead to lingering mental health issues later in life. 

How Is RSD Managed? 

As you might expect, RSD can take a toll on the relationships in your life. You might be tempted to isolate yourself from others to escape potential rejection or criticism. You might also be attracted to relationships where you’re leaning into codependency. That can cause you to essentially give up yourself and your identity for another person just to ensure they’re happy and approve of you. 

It’s important to learn how to manage rejection-sensitive dysphoria so you don’t let it become a thorn in your relationships. 

Ironically enough, having a strong support system in your corner can be extremely helpful when it comes to RSD management. When you have friends or family members who understand what you’re going through, they can provide reassurance, comfort, and support when feelings of rejection threaten to take over. 

On your own, you can make self-care a priority. Try practices like mindfulness to stay grounded in the present. Mindfulness can help you push away the potential “what ifs” clouding your mind, and keep you focused on the reality of a situation. 

Reaching Out for Help

The best way to manage RSD is to work with a mental health professional. If you have ADHD, you might already be working with a therapist. If not, therapy can help you manage those symptoms, too. 

Either way, don’t hesitate to talk to a professional about what you’re feeling and how RSD is affecting you. You don’t have to struggle with these emotions forever. Therapy can provide you with healthy, effective strategies to manage both ADHD and RSD. Feel free to contact me for more information or to set up an appointment for an ADHD evaluation.