How Your Mental Health As A Parent Shapes Your Children
As a parent, you are your child’s first role model, and they look to you for everything. Even when it seems like they aren’t paying attention, they can pick up on even the smallest nuances of your well-being.
That includes your mental health.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, it could have more of an impact on your children than you realize. Unfortunately, that impact can cause issues that linger into adulthood and create a sort of cyclical effect when it comes to mental wellness.
So, how exactly does your mental health shape your children?
The Importance of Emotional Regulation
At a young age, children aren’t fully able to understand, process, or regulate their own emotions. So, they’ll look to you as a model for what to do, especially during times of stress or discomfort.
If you have a hard time managing your emotions and tend to let the symptoms of mental health issues take over, your children will observe that, and may be more likely to develop anxiety and a sense of distrust. It will also be harder for them to learn emotional regulation, which can lead to issues like:
Strained social interactions
Struggles in school
A fear that the world is unsafe
First Attachment
Parents and caregivers are typically their children’s first interaction and attachment. In a perfect world, all children would be able to form a secure attachment with their parents, but that isn’t always the case.
If your child isn’t able to develop a secure attachment with you due to any mental health struggles you’re dealing with, it can lead to a variety of issues that will impact them in childhood and beyond.
If issues like depression or anxiety are making it difficult for you to meet your child’s physical or emotional needs, they can become unsure about themselves and what it means to find comfort in someone else. They also might have a hard time forming connections with others, which can impact their relationships in the future.
Passing On Mental Health Issues
There are a variety of factors that can impact a person’s mental health — including family history. If your child witnesses you dealing with mental health issues, you could end up passing down everything from stress and anxiety to trauma to that child. Not working through your mental health struggles in healthy and effective ways can cause you to project them onto your children, even if it’s unintentional.
Your mental health can also have an impact on your parenting style. For example, if you’re struggling with something like anxiety, you might be too consumed by it to consistently care for your child. You might experience ups and downs in things like discipline and attention.
Children thrive on consistency. It provides comfort and stability. If mental health issues are impacting the consistency of your parenting, it can create confusion and cause your child to:
Develop self-confidence issues
Struggle with boundaries
Lack social skills
Have a difficult time listening to others or following rules
Academic and Social Struggles
Your mental health can also have an impact on the way your child grows throughout their educational career. For example, your anxiety could easily be absorbed by your child, making it difficult for them to stay focused in class, get their work done, or even feel like they have the ability to keep up.
Not only can your mental health issues contribute to things like poor grades and learning issues, but they can impact your child’s social skills as they grow, too. It can be difficult for them to form healthy connections and understand how to effectively communicate and strengthen relationships.
What Can You Do?
No matter how much you love and care for your children, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Your mental health issues could have a bigger impact on your kids than you realize. With that in mind, it’s imperative to take charge of your mental well-being and seek the help you deserve for yourself and your children. Feel free to contact me to set up an appointment for parenting counseling soon.
