How to Motivate Your Unmotivated Teen
The world we live in today is somewhat uncharted times. Coming out of the global pandemic over the last couple of years has been challenging on its own. Many of our teens have had their lives turned upside down, some not even fully knowing adolescence before the pandemic. Anxieties are at an all-time high. Uncertainty is at the forefront of everything. It is no wonder motivation may seem lacking. The contrary is most likely true, however. Your teen is probably more motivated than you realize, just misdirected.
Here are ways you can start redirecting that motivation.
Listen With An Open Mind
It happens so often that we project our own wants, desires, goals, and motivations onto our children. In this crucial stage of their lives, we have the ability to influence their growth positively or negatively. The most important thing we can do is to learn what drives them personally. Listen to what motivates their mind and spirit. It may not be what drives you, nor what you expect of them. But think back to when you were their age . . . were you thinking in the same manner as you do now? Allow them to make their choices, all while you actively listen and respect their process. You may learn why they seem unmotivated and how to help them.
Goal Writing For Success
Teenagers today are often juggling so much on their plates. While these things may not seem stressful to you, they can be very much so to someone their age. If this stress gets too overwhelming, achieving their goals can seem unmanageable. When this occurs, they may default to shutting down. Help your teen find success by breaking down their big goals into smaller, more attainable ones. Have them write down short and long-term goals, which can be checked off when accomplished. Research does show that people who write their goals down are 54% more likely to achieve them.
The Journey Is More Important Than The Destination
Reaching those long-term goals may come with struggle. And as we know, some goals never get accomplished or need to change over time. It is imperative that the focus is on the journey and not the end game. There are a lot of lessons to be learned along the way. If a teen gets too caught up in the perceived failure(s), it could prompt reduced motivation in future endeavors. Praising the effort rather than meeting the goal is a great way to maintain that motivation and promote hard work and a work ethic.
● Incorporate Fun. It has already been established that life for a teen can be difficult and overwhelming. Find ways to bring fun into the mix to improve motivation. Can you tie in hobbies, video games, books, music, or pop culture things into their work?
● Utilize Motivators. There is a time and a place for rewarding behavior. Does your teen respond to an allowance? Are there certain items that they are itching to have? Is recognition of sorts a driving force? Find what motivates your teen and allow them to earn this reward. The goal here is to help them feel empowered by achieving this reward. Once they have a taste of it, they will hopefully be more motivated to repeat this behavior.
● Remember Not To Lecture. As parents, it can be easy to lecture in black-and-white terms. The more you tell them what they should do, the more they may want to rebel and shut down. Use questions to guide them to the correct perspective. By asking questions, you can promote problem-solving and make it more their idea than yours. When you empower them, it can improve confidence and motivation.
If you continue to struggle to motivate your teen, there is no shame in asking for help. In fact, it is one of the best things you can do when you feel stuck. Reach out to the office today so we can help you and your teen head in the right direction with teen counseling.
