How To Cope With Feelings Of Failure Or Underachievement

Everyone experiences failure at some point in life. Perfection isn’t possible, and underachievement sometimes happens, no matter how hard we work at something. 

While failure is normal and bound to happen, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. As the old saying goes, you are your own worst enemy. Feeling like a failure can lead to stress, low self-esteem, anxiety, or even depression.

We live in a world with a lot of pressure. Social media often makes it seem like we need to achieve every dream at the highest possible standard, even if we know that’s not realistic. 

So, what can you do when you’re struggling with feelings of underachievement? How can you overcome feelings of failure to move forward with your life? 

Stop Comparing Yourself

Again, social media plays a big role in how we see ourselves and our successes and failures. Unfortunately, many people use social media and the internet as comparison tools. You might see a friend, family member, or even a celebrity sharing posts about how great their lives are, leaving you feeling pretty low about your own. 

It’s important to remember that life isn’t a competition. Most people online post highlight reels of their lives. You aren’t witnessing what’s going on behind the scenes.

Even offline, don’t compare yourself to others. You have your own life to live and your own path to take. When you stay focused on your personal goals and desires instead of trying to compete with someone else, you’re less likely to feel like you’ve failed when something doesn’t end up “perfect.”

Learn From It

Some of the most successful people in history experienced major failures at one point. Names like Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs are on that list. 

If those people (and so many more) had let their failures stop them from learning and moving forward, our world would have been a very different place.

One of the best ways to cope with feelings of failure is to use your efforts as a learning experience. What could you do differently next time? What mistakes won’t you repeat? Failure can be an exceptional learning tool if you’re willing to keep going. 

Understand You Aren’t Alone

Again, everyone experiences failure at some point in life. When you’re going through it, it’s easy for your mind to tell you that you aren’t worth anything. Negative self-talk can be difficult to overcome but not impossible. 

Remind yourself that you aren’t alone when it comes to your feelings. Even the people you admire — those who seem to succeed at everything — have undoubtedly felt the way you are now. What you do to move past those feelings will make a difference.

Practice Self-Care

Feelings of failure will try to take down your self-esteem quickly. To fight back against those feelings and keep yourself confident, practice regular self-care. Do something every day for the sole purpose of your well-being. 

Self-care can include exercising, eating healthy meals, journaling, or meditating. It can also involve spending time with people you love. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and boost your self-esteem can give you the foundation you need to remain confident even when you’re facing failure.

Self-care can also include seeking out mental health treatment if you tend to struggle with confidence, anxiety, or sadness. By prioritizing your mental health, your feelings of failure are less likely to bring you down for long. You can silence negative self-talk and look forward rather than feeling “stuck” on underachievements.

If you’re struggling with feelings of failure and finding it difficult to work through them on your own, feel free to contact me to schedule a free consultation and learn more about teen therapy.