How To Cope With The Uncertainty That Comes With Relationships

Relationships can be exciting. Have you ever been with someone who causes you to experience “butterflies” in your stomach? Maybe you look forward to each date because you just don’t know what to expect, and there’s an element of surprise there that you love. 

Unfortunately, though, the same thing that makes relationships exciting can also make them a bit nerve-wracking — uncertainty.

If you find yourself constantly wondering what the future holds for your relationship, you’re going to become overwhelmed and anxious. Anxiety is often fueled by the “what ifs” of life, and relationships are full of them. 

So, what can you do to overcome that uncertainty? How can you enjoy the excitement of a relationship without focusing on the unknowns that could be causing you stress? 

Recognize The Problem

The first step toward dealing with the uncertainty that comes with relationships is to acknowledge it.

If you find that you’re constantly thinking about the future, overthinking situations with your partner, or even trying to look for something “wrong” in the relationship, you’re setting yourself up to feel anxious more often than not. 

Physical signs of anxiety often include shortness of breath, a rapid heart rate, and even trembling. If the uncertainty of your relationship contributes to any of those issues, becoming aware of the problem can help you start to take positive steps forward. 

Focus On What You Can Control

Again, there’s something exciting about the unknown in a relationship. You never know when your partner might surprise you. Plus, there’s plenty to look forward to in the future. 

But, when those thoughts of the future become more stressful than exciting, it’s a problem. There are so many elements of relationships that are out of your control. For example, you can’t control how your partner feels or what they say or do. You can’t control external elements that might influence your relationship one way or another. 

So, focus on what you can control — your actions. You might not be able to control every thought that comes to mind, but you decide what to do with it. Focusing on the small things you can control within your relationship makes it easier to ignore the elements that are out of your grasp. As a result, you’ll learn to be more accepting of them. 

Be More Mindful

If you’re dealing with uncertainty, you’re undoubtedly looking ahead. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with your partner. Dreaming about it can be fun and exciting. But, if those daydreams come with so many “what ifs” that they’re causing you stress, you might want to shift your focus. 

Consider practicing mindfulness. It will allow you to stay grounded in the present. Taking slow, deep breaths and connecting yourself to your surroundings is a great way to shift your focus away from the uncertainties of the future. Mindfulness can reduce stress and anxiety while improving your gratitude for what you’re experiencing in your relationship now. 

Talk To Someone

If you’re still struggling with the uncertainty that comes with relationships, don’t feel like you have to handle it on your own. 

Working with a therapist can help you better understand why uncertainty is taking such a hold on your thoughts. It can also help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with it. 

There are going to be uncertainties in relationships. Some of them are good. Some of them can trigger stress. If the “what ifs” of your relationship’s future are negatively impacting your quality of life, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Feel free to contact me for more information or to set up an appointment for young adult therapy.